Finding you
by Seldin
Summary: He has to find her, now. He has to find her to fix the mess he made. Before she vanishes again from his life and this time for good.


Since the last battle is finished and the war ended with it, he should be relaxed and happy, carefree. But he wasn't, he couln't be. He still has one very important thing to do. So, he walks very fast, too tired to run in the whole castle.

Strange thing for him to think his father lived here, that this huge castle used to be his. All this display of wealth seems strange to him when he remembered his master's forge, the only home he ever had... He keeps looking for her but she's nowhere to be seen. An awfull fear starts to devour his guts. Was she dead ? Will he find her dead body ? He walks faster.

His mind is as racing as his feet. If she's still alive, where did she go ? What spot in King's Landing does she like ? She may call him stupid but he's able to turn things over in his head ! He keeps thinking for a little while before it becomes obvious to him : the tower of the Hand, the last place she lived as a carefree young girl with her family ! She has to be there !

As soon as he enters the tower, he tastes blood on his tongue. There were corpses everywere, combats occured there too. He searches every room, he goes to the first floor then the second. There he finally finds the one he was looking for all this time. She is in her former father's solace.

When he sees her, the terrible fear eating his guts disapered. Well, some of it comes back when he remembers how their last encounter ended. How will she reacts ? Will she reject him again ? What will he do then ? All of these question vanished when her piercing grey eyes met his. He feels petrified, petrified and mute. Gods, just perfect. He wants to win back the woman he loves and he can't find back the freaking words he thought he would tell her all the way down to King's Landing. He feels like he's back at that day in Winterfell's forge, where they met again after years of separation. There too he felt dumd and mute. This was the effect she has on him, she always had in fact. She speaks, breaking his reverie.

« -I'm glad you're alive. And almost unharmed. It's a good thing. » Her face may seems as unrreadeble as usual but not to him. He knows her too well, she tries to hide something. That being said, she walks toward the exit. By pure reflex, Gendry put himself in front of the door.

« -I'm glad you're good too, I feared you were dead when I didn't find you after the battle. Listen Arya, I've never been good with words... But listen to what I have to say, alright ? After that, if you still want to walk away, I will let you do so. »

She looks at him, clearly stressed wich is uncharacteritic of her, even when she was eleven. She recluantly nods.

« -Last time I saw, at Winterfell when I... proposed to you... I was drunk. Drunk with the incredible victory whe just had, with the ale I had to drink when legitimized and drunk with thoughts about you. I know you don't care about social status, you never had. But it's because you're a highborn. As a low-born, I know what power status brings. Try to put yourself in my shoes for a second. You're a low-born bastard in love with a highborn lady, wich is entirely hopeless. The best thing I could hope from you was what you gave me the night before the battle. And then, a queen legitimize you, all of the sudden. One second before, you were a nobody and one second after, you're a lord with lands and tittles. The first that crossed my mind was that now, we were equals. Now, I could show to the world that I love you without creating a scandal. »

She cuts him short « -I know all of that, I kown how you work. It's just that I'm not a lady, I never was one and I'll nerver be one. » She makes a movement towards the door.

« -Wait ! I'm not done here ! You said you'll listen to me before you make your choice. » Panic could be heard in his voice. If she decided to go now, he wouldn't be able to stop her and he would lose her forever. But hopefully, she moves backwards.

« -What I want to say is that... This night, you didn't listen to me. I told you you were beautiful, that I loved you and that everything, tittles and lands and honors were worthless without you. I meant every word. I still do. I kown I souldn't have told you to become the lady of Storm's End. After all, you always hated being a lady, even when you were Arry. So let me say what I feel in a different way. Arya, you're beautiful and I love you. Everything would be worthless without you. So, I ask you not to become a lady, I ask you to become my family. »

Hearing those unexepected words, her eyes widens and begins to water. Those words she said all those years ago. He still remembers them. Her heart aches with need, need to kiss him, to embrace him, to make love with him. But she stops herself, she tries to silence her feelings, like she has done since Braavos.

« -It's a bad idea. I can marry you and become the lady of Storm's End but it would be wrong. Wrong for me, since I hate being a proper lady. And wrong for the Storms lands since I would be an unproper one, I would never fit there, never. Or you could refuse you legetimization to live with me but you'll eventually hate me. Not immediately but eventually. Social recognition is very important to you, I understand that. I don't want to make you chose between you dream and me. » He sees she feels vunerable, exposed, naked before him. It's the very first time she talks to him about how she feels. He sighs.

« -You really don't know how to listen... I alredy told you -twice- that everything is wothless without you. Don't you get it ? Storm's End and lordship aren't my dream, you are. That's what I told you when I told you I was staying with the Brotherhood. I've never had a family. That's what I've always wanted, the one thing I really ever wanted. »

He approches her, carefully. She seems frifgtened by his words, she looks like she's about to run far away at any minute. He goes on one knee again before her.

« -Arya, would you become my family ? My wife, my companion, whatever you want as long as I'm by your side. I don't care about what you wear, I like you in pants. Though I like dresses too, espicially the ones with acorns patterns. I love your fighting skills for they kept you and everyone alive. I love how strong and fierce you are. » His heart is about to shatter in a million pieces, what will she say ?

She keeps silent for a moment, studying him, reading into his soul using the training she had at the House of Black and White.

« -If you want to follow me, there's two things you need to know. First, I'm a killer. No, I see what you think, you've already seen me kill before but this is different. I'm a trained cold-blood assassin. That's how I got those scars. Jacquen H'agar trained me. The second one is that I do not intend to stay in Westeros. I've always wondered what is west of Westeros. I do intend to find out. »

She studies his face as she talks, to measure his reactions. He doesn't even flinch about the assassin part. He smiles when he hears about her intention to travel to the unknown.

« -You always had this darkness in you, I saw it when you were a child already. I'm not frigtned by it. It's part of you, part of who you became. A person I'm proud to know. »

Her eyes windens once more, she never thought someone could accept her darkest side so easily. She underestimated him, they travel side by side after all. He saw her kill people on cold-blood. He kwowns who she is better than anyone else alive.

« -And about the travel, I have to say I'm not really surprised. I should have known Westeros wasn't big enough for you. » He doens't add anything, he just keeps his eyes in hers, trying to make her understand how he feels.

She walks towards him, kneel and kiss him softly. He embraces her, fearing this might be an ultimate farewell, like last time. But when she pulls off, she's smiling.

« -Stupid bull, it took you long to figure things out... If you sure of your choice, I accept you by side. I don't want us to marry, I don't care about that. We have each other, that's enough for me. And since we'll cross the sea and we'll live on a unexplored land, we can make the rules that we want. We make create a society where we both fit... »

He laughes, delighted by the prospect. « -We'll have to begin from scractch, that's a lot a work... m'lady. » Arya frows a bit, he's teasing her again wich means he's reassured... Maybe he needs a reminder that with her, nothing is nerver really settled... After all, it's always been like that between them, one teasing the other. The she-wolf and the bull.


End file.
